Today I want to talk about an unfortunately popular topic: body confidence. It’s something that I feel more and more people are struggling with, and to be honest, I feel like this topic has been around for far too long. Sadly, I’m one of the people that show just how long lack of body confidence has been around, since I’ve been consciously struggling for about 12 years now.
I recently turned 20, which means that since I was about 8, I have been trying to actively do something about my weight; by either going on diets or doing exercise plans, and before that, it was just something that I’ve always noticed but never really paid much attention to.
All my life I’ve always been considered big, not really in size but more in a development way. I was never obese or really big, I was just biggER than a lot of my classmates, which I guess made me look older. My issues with my body are in a way linked to my need of looking my age. It’s something that I always noticed and had at the back of my mind because people growing up always used to be mean and inconvenient about the way that I was a very early bloomer. I think I stopped growing at around 13 or 14 and basically looked exactly the same as I do now, because people would always say that I looked 17-18, which as you can imagine was a big blow to my confidence. I’m the youngest of four sisters, as you may know, and nobody, up until now, accepted that fact. They always made little petty remarks about how I look older and they are so shocked that I’m only x years old and added that my older sisters look younger than me because they were smaller.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that they were mean and unnecessary because they were saying something that I didn’t want to hear because honestly, sometimes the truth hurts, but needs to be said. I just find it unnecessary to repeat the same truth for absolutely no reason. I understand that some people don’t know how (and when) to express themselves but there is really no need to constantly remind someone of their, for lack of a better word, flaws just because you decided that it’s shocking to see a bigger girl. At the end of the day, I never had any health issues or restrictions (or any issues in general) due to my weight, so there really wasn’t any need for people to constantly keep stating the obvious. I couldn’t help the fact that I was an early bloomer while my sisters and classmates were not.
I remember being so excited to turn 17 because I was like yayyy I will finally look my age and people will stop with the unnecessary remarks, but guess what? They still had something negative to say about my weight. People always will find something about you for an excuse to be petty wap, which leads me to my next point. Don’t blame your issues on what others have to say because at the end of the day people only talk if you listen. People can bring things to your attention, yeah sure, but nobody has the power to make you feel bad about yourself, only you do. You gave “society” the power to bring you down, which makes you twice as powerful as them. That means that society only brings you down based off on how you react to what they say, so if you don’t mind, it won’t matter.
No one will ever be perfect in “society” because everyone has a different opinion of perfection. Society is made up of little groups, so you can’t assume that the opinion of the group that you are most connected to, is the only one that counts or the only one that exists. We focus on one specific group and try to blame all of society for our issues; this isn’t limited to body image either, it’s about anything. It is always easier to have more expectations of others than of yourself. You know how when some people go to your house and they ask for things that they don’t even have at theirs? It’s the same thing; people demand more than what is possible to give. Some people first demand a perfect body, you get that and they call you a “butter face”, so you make sure your face is perfect as well, then they call you shallow; so you make sure your brain is well exercised and become smart then they call you one-dimensional, so you need to also have a fun side and so on. We were all so happy with the evolution of mankind and the development of communication, until the words that we invented started being used against us.
Make sure that whatever diet or whatever you’re doing, you love yourself along the way. Live in today with tomorrow in mind. I obviously am a serial planner, so I like to plan for the future, but at the same time I’m enjoying where I am right now. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you are putting only one small part of you on a pedestal. There is so much more that you have to offer besides a nice body.